Whenever I miss you I just turn on Tool Academy
I drove you home. there is no excuse for wrecking your car 3 hours later.
I started drinking at 10.30am. Ive got a solid buzz, ive decided holidays are to be treated like gamedays
I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix.
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
It's like past high you was looking out for future high you by rolling that joint and leaving it in your coat pocket. What a Halloween miracle
You wanna know how bad I feel? I couldn't get out of bed to get the remote, so I just downloaded the comcast app on my phone so I could change the channels
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
I am naked, and drinking straight gin with a flat tonic chaser. I had such greater hopes for myself as a child.
yea...tonic water is fucking gross.
at one point, you reached into your purse, pulled out a tampon, and proceeded to rub it on your lips like chapstick... that drunk
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