Dude feel your hair right now it feels so weird like pasta
Just thought i should tell someone im on the roof, if i pass out up here because no one found me, im behind the chimney
I'm just gonna be the bigger person here and say I want you inside me
You are too young to settle down enjoy your life. The window to get drunk and have casual sex with strangers gets smaller by the day.
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
He wrote me poetry. 12 hours after getting my number
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
He just walked from his house to mine. Walked in and asked for a hug and then left.. And he's sober.
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
There is a man playing a trumpet at this brunch and I hate life. Too hungover for this. Send help ASAP.
Not gonna lie, Wednesday was the perfect day to get laid off, all I've done since is watch the Simpsons marathon
I brought those bastards cookies so they can deal with my sex noise, fuck them and their roommate asses
I'm too pretty to go to jail. Especially in Louisiana.
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Randomize
