I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
I keep waking up with the nagging feeling I gave him half a hand job through his shorts.
Hes laying on the floorn in the bathroom telling Jesus to raise the flag
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
A sandwich with pizza as the bread. I love you.
YES WITH THE SQUARE KIND OF SLICES
At least you got some premium homework time. Still drinking vodka from a coffee cup?
I switched to water. When the numbers get blurry you are no longer being productive.
We stopped midfuck cuz a guy was walking his dog. Who the fuck walks their dog in the dorm parking structure at 3am!?
So this 40 year old woman was trying to bring me into the bathroom to blow me and the bartender called the cops on her because she was showing her tits. Only in asbury.
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
I think we can say happy hour is successful when you have frosting and southern comfort in your hair.
Why is our fridge full of girl scout cookies and rum?
You told me to go grocery shopping.
Would you think less of me if I were eating pizza on the toilet right now?
You are not allowed to sing ever again, my ears are still ringing.
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
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