That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
You even been so high breaking up weed with your fingers feels like surgery?
Never let Scott cook bacon and eggs at 2am while drunk. You should have seen the flames.
From now on, just let me go home. I'm tired of hooking up with your roommates... Including you.
my dad is going to jail this weekend
where are we going to get our weed from?
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
"can of pringles" is totally a legitimate measure of time
My unemployment came through so I'd like to thank the taxpayers of Utah in advance for my level of intoxication this weekend
After my lunch today, I've got $10 till Sunday night. I am losing at life.
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
I'm putting my hangover kit in my car for the trip to work tomorrow morning. Dedication
You asked for 4 things: your phone, your wallet, your keys and your denture. I stopped asking questions.
Geez don't go to a bar for a few days and everyone freaks out.
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
You've hit rock bottom, swam around the ocean floor, and brought back silverware from the titanic.
Randomize
