Today's life lesson: fat girls should not wear tight miniskirts and vinyl leggings. This Forever 21 salesgirl is a hot mess.
does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
You came back with puke all over your sweatshirt and started doing darth vader impressions
Dude you can't just initiate a threesome via twitter
Yo I'm texting you while getting a bj. I know, I'm the man. Told her I was texting my mom in the hospital.
Just woke up with a blunt in each nostril and a lighter duct taped to my chest...good lookin out
My glasses smell like tequila. I just put them on and almost threw up.
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
Rick two cubicles down puked and that triggered three others puking into their trash cans as well. The janitorial staff hates it when we go drinking on a work night.
I'm seeing double so when I get home can we have a threesome?
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
I guess you know it was a good night when you find your ripped underwear in your pocket, and a nerf bullet falls out of your pant leg 😂😂
will you help me invent vagina-safe pop rocks?
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
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