I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
He gave me an orgasm with his left hand...and he's right handed. Of course he's a keeper.
And whoever invented the condom should be put to death.
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
I love it. Like, more than my penis at the moment.
Yea i think drunk-me kept all my bar receipts, just to throw it in sober-me's face.
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
You declared war on your ex and then had sex with who you thought was her sister. No one knows who she was but we think your dick might be in danger.
When you're awkward as a teenager, it never goes away. You just mask it. With makeup. And boobs.
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
I came to the party for him. I don't know where he went, but I mentioned being hungry and his housemate brought me a huge tupperware container of berry cobbler. I think I'll stay.
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
He literally just made me hold his dick while he peed cause he wanted to know if I could aim as good as him
Concept: I never actually flirt with anyone, I'm just a bitch and some people find it endearing
So you realized he wasn't actually cheating on you and now you're trying to unfuck things. Or in this case unfuck Tom.
Randomize
