I'm totally gay for Miss Californiaaaaaa
oh sweet, sweet irony
spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
I think I found my soulmate. This guy in front of me is yelling about getting laid while holding two beers and texting. I think this is love.
Got laid at the last second. Facebook chat is good for something afterall.
she was handing out condoms w/ her number on them...
I swear, if he gets me a bowling ball for Christmas, I will throw it at him.
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
oh and then you called a time out with your penis
Do you think it'd be inappropriate to have an I'm Not Keeping My Baby Party the day after her baby shower?
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
I hate cuddling. I also hate when people breathe. Which he did, a lot. So he can go to hell.
Sorry I can't go bowling with you guys. I'm getting daytime dick. That's the best kind.
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
Who the fuck watches Jessica jones and thinks I need to call a past fling?
I think I gave a random lady a dildo
Again?!
Randomize
