All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
There's a girl at 7-11 apologizing for her behavior and asking if she can get her shoes back.
I've realized that my life is in no way structured to be compatible with monogamy. I'm not adjusting to this well.
Sometimes I seriously wonder if I could get away with vodka Sundays at work. Cuz this red bull feels naked.
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
You told me you aren't worried about the police that you've been training for this an that the last three months of your life have been devoted to building up your stun gun tolerance and pepper spray recovery time.
Remember the 3 things that are off limits? They're fair game if you get here in the next 5 minutes
I'm drunk, we're losing, and I'm in the visitors stands. This is about to get ugly.
Is it a bad thing that I'm trimming my nose hairs in anticipation for the 8ball to be delivered?
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
Can we go to the gas station to get cigarettes before we get drunk. It's hard enough to say Marlboro sober.
I have a terrible feeling that I made out with a fraternity last night
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
Randomize