Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
i just sent this text using only my big toe
well he's currently spooning the coffee table
I'm drinking keystone with a homeless man I found. It's making me feel uncomfortable.
I just got a high school volleyball teams practice cancelled because I slept with the head coach through their practice time.
Just so we're on the same page, we cannot have been the first people to have ever thought about shooting that guy with crossbow
You were hanging upside down on the subway with your feet in the stirrup handle bars. the children were amused.
He just gave himself a boner while driving using "the power of his mind"
I knew we would be good together when you made me lick jameson off your boob while you screamed along with racks on racks
Reached a new low. Drinking Wine from my thermos while on the stair master.
There are eight sets of guys I've made out with who have the same name. It's like noah's ark in my mouth.
We found her on the doorstep. Just layin down going, "I made it home!! Aren't you proud??!"
how do you play pong handcuffed?
My dad just said "fuck circus"
what do you mean he's functionally heterosexual
Randomize
