The jonas brothers playing in your laptop. This is why guys won't sleep with you...
Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
Can someone please explain to me why I woke up looking like Ziggy Stardust
if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
oh god...if the people that live above me killed themselves again then im gonna assume im the worst neighbor ever
im standing in line right now while the 711 manager calls other locations to see if they have the john cena collectors slurpee cup in stock...yep i need to get laid
To the genius that put everclear in my humidifier: your time is coming.
Haha I haven't even had my interview yet and I'm already trying to fuck my way to the top. 'Merica.
I am gifting my birthday sex to you, but its okay because I can always just have birthday vibrator.
I learned a very valuable lesson tonight...don't touch a cops tazer
fuck sobriety. I want to wake up tomorrow in a park or some shit.
I had to dust off the condom box before she came over..
The end of the friendship was inevitable. I hooked up with her cousin and forgot to mention it to her
they gave me money. the money smells like weed. also they gave me weed
Randomize
