420 ftw
I bet the first cavemant to make fire got so much pussy
Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over
I told him I'd rather have sex with his father last night. I'll admit now that I was drunk.
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
Using your ex girlfriend's little brother to pick up women at the a&p: priceless
You know he really cares when he gives you one of those on-the-go toothbrushes for your walk of shame before running to work
New low. Just realized I hooked up with a guy from Grindr in the hallway of a building my great grandfather used to own..
He fell backwards into a full bathtub but didn't spill a single drop of the beer in his hand. What a pro.
Just because the energy drink is shaped like a grenade doesnt make it cool to throw it and yell "BOOM" and break my flatscreen, asshole
TYLER OWES ME SO MUCH
I LET A CREEPY MAN I DONT KNOW SUCK ON MY NIPPLES
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
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