My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
Lesson learned. Never get fingered on an airplane.
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
omg i hate the new neighbors. why cant a bitch just be hungover in peace on a wednesday morning.
He tried to fight me not realizing that I work as a bouncer in the the same bar we were in. His night ended with him in handcuffs, missing teeth, PLUS I got his shots that he ordered since he didn't get to drink them.
Btw before you ask, the dr said there's no way shoving his dick that far down my throat is why i got laryngitis
Just had hot animal sex with the guy who had been sending me 10 second selfie snapchats for the past month
I woke up with a bagel in my mouth, still ate it. Free breakfast
My google history for last night included "Whre is johns house" and "wher can i buy nukes?" Pretty sure they're related to one another.
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
I mean, I'm not upset that HE's getting married, I'm upset his penis has to go through with it by default
He said 'I really struggle with the sin of lust' then we proceeded to have sex. So I guess it was a perfectly executed Catholic pick up line?
Don't try to butter me sideways
That is without a doubt the most Southern thing you have ever said.
I guarantee you he will only fuck with old bitches from now on
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