I just had to explain to the pharmacy cashier that the Plan B and thank you notes I was buying were not related.
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
found the other keg... it's in the tree
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
She said I was the most selfish person in bed she's ever been with and she's fucked Tucker Max.
I saw a groundgog last night outside my back door. I now have a new wedding gift idea.
your life is going to be an empowering working mom montage tomorrow to Katy P's ROAR... --are you living in a yoplaít comercial?
Fair warning birthday party last night avoid kitchen & upstairs bathroom if you value your remaining sanity
I will have you know I turned Latino David Arquette down for sex because he's married. Total. Moral. Victory.
Flo's in town, ain't she.
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
I made the antidote to the nasty cognac. I AM THE GOD OF MIXED DRINKS.
I don't want to hook up with him sober. That's pretty much like saying I love you.
there is another microwave in the elevator.
Randomize
