I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
we should wear snuggies to the strip club
And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
note to self... there IS such a thing as having too many birthday shots...
he used his one phone call on me and it said "you have a collect call from- LETS GET IT- at the montgomery county jail".
I don't give a shit about soccer but I'm really excited about drinking at 7 in the morning
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
You better drive. If I decide to let them talk me into a 3-way, I don't want you to be stranded.
Also, did that cop draw hearts on everyone's hands last night?
All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
It was fine until he came back to my place, grabbed a beer, HIGH-FIVED me, and left.
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
Which one have i been cheating ON and which one have i been cheating WITH if i met them the same night & have been dividing time equally?
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
Randomize
