he is naked. in. my. bed. happiest day. of my. LIFE.
one might say we're banned from that church
Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
I am so high I am beginning to unironically like Vanessa Carlton.
I'm seriously gonna die surrounded by a million cats and an unbroken hymen
Yep we found him face down in my sister's bathroom begging for blowjobs without mustard
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
I feel as if the hash cupcakes on top of mushroom chocolates was a little excessive last night
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
Tonight I'm getting fucked up for America because Lord knows we need it.
Randomize
