dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
Dude someone changed all the contacts in my phone to I Like Eggs
im watching shaqs comedy special. this is how i know im not sober.
two words...techno handjob
the bride spent most of the night apologizing to people she had punched earlier.
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
I usually would've stopped there but I kinda remember opening the bottle of vodka, and we ALL know that's when things go downhill.
my stepmom is let-the-dog-eat-out-of-her-mouth drunk. oh my god.
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
Yess he was literally so drunk that like at one point I'm pretty sure he thought it was hard and in when neither were true :/ haha
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
Girl i am always here for you. But i am going to have sex now so im going to call you in the morning.
Randomize
