how should i go about explaining the hickey i drunkenly gave myself last night?
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
In retrospect, getting to second base BEFORE anal wouldve been a good idea
For the record, saying you're friends with the owner doesn't work when the owner is the one throwing you out.
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
I like to take my ritalin one pill at a time with each pill spaced out a couple minutes so I feel like I'm going super saiyan when they kick in.
This stranger told me I should "start playing for the other team" and then continued to talk to me about the joys of being a lesbian
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
Just spread butter on my bathrobe. This has been an ace morning.
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
My heart stopped for a sec, but I snorted what I believe was cocaine off the floor, and I'm back in the fight
He's nice to look at and knows the difference between your and you're. I win.
I need an outfit that says "thanks for hiring me" but also says "i want dick in my mouth".
I woke up in a boat, with a life jacket on, tons of beer cans and no lake... I was inside a garage. WTF
Fuck this pandemic. She grabbed the hand sanitizer instead of the hand lotion while giving me a hand job and now my dick is burning and scrotum are on fire
A hand job? Are you 12?
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