There is nothing wrong with wanting a slide attached to your staircase
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
The cab driver doesn't know where we can find an empire state building shaped dildo either!? What is wrong with NYC!?
I don't remember its real name, I just call it the Harrison Ford Cush after that idea with the Indiana Jones mask. I should just get high and sell people my ideas for their Halloween costumes all the time. I'd make a fucking fortune.
No, she isn't nearly as crazy as the girl who wanted to wear a vial of my semen as a necklace.
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
I'm pretty sure I did the Macarena with a gay guy while shot gunning a beer
Its funny that for once I get home and I'm just as high as my parents are.
Unfortunately, the Bilbo Baggins adventure side of me that likes to go on adventures appears to be losing to the side of me that likes to smoke weed in the bathtub and watch Workaholics.
Drank for free all night and I'm not even sleeping w the bartender. What is this magic?
Was just messaged by someone in a Power Ranger suit on OkCupid... Figured you would approve
dude, last night I won a real sword and a bottle of vodka in a cards against humanity tournament
well I've taken an Uber to my weed dealers twice in the past 2 weeks so it's going well since I sold my car
I added our drug dealer to the quickbooks software babe, he is listed under vendor's as an expense category... money management is such a bitch...
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