What I lack in compassion I make up for in lack of compassion
Oh I forgot to tell you one of the little boys in my preschool class was wearing a Hooters tank top today.
Just passed a guy passed out on a riding lawn mower in his front yard.
I don't even know. I woke up to a text from someone named Vick saying he was 'legit worried' that I had herpes.
Your never gonna wash that desperation outta that sweatshirt you know.
Does saving a line for myself for the morning so I don't seem hungover at work count as responsibility?
Adult decisions.
Y'know, "Class cancelled because Professor is stuck in Mexico," is not something I expected in college. Let alone, "Professor is stuck in Mexico, AGAIN."
Well I talked to some Canadians today, and I'm keeping a vigilant watch for sharks, so I'm pretty booked up.
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
I put miralax in my rum/coke. Go hard or go home.
Got so drunk last night I kinda sent a super on point sext to his kid sister...say a prayer man
I masterbated to his instagram page. Too far or....?
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
Lesbians just stole my cat :(
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