Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
sexting loses it's worth when you accidentally text your boss.
How are you going to be there by 9am?
Relax I always go to these conferences hung over
You say that like it's a positive quality
Once you realized you couldn't finish the 30 you started walking down the street and leaving a beer in everyone's mailbox
who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!
you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.
He came in, laid on our floor and started to make a snow angel.. On the floor. Then he just left never said a word. 20 mins later walked back in and dropped his pants, looked down and said "wow im happy i had boxers on."
When boys buy condoms it makes me feel proud of their mothers for doing a good job
God damn. I'm really starting to resent babies. They're everywhere. Like fucking land mines.
My drunken abilities have only improved since college....I can navigate the streets of chicago like no ones business, do push-ups to hail a taxi and instantly become an mma fighter after 3 shots of hennessy
I don't remember anything after falling in the ditch, but I now have confirmation that my rib is broken. Never drinking again.
So I'm getting really old. I feel asleep for a booty call that I initiated. The struggle is real.
So apparently my mom hired someone who goes by "DJ Dog Dick" for the family christmas party?
His wedding band got caught on my nipple ring and that's how I realized he was married
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
Oh my god my purse is too heavy for me to dance with boys cause it has too many stolen sink faucets in it
Randomize
