i just overheard a girl at the next table saying she gave up sex for lent
don't you ever do that...
oh my god. i just found my camera... on top of the bush outside of my house. never let me drink everclear again
one of my coworkers is shitshow drunk, getting naked. she's about to ride the bull.
i was just going to ask if it would be cool for me to come and have a beer...
it's total chaos here. i may ride the bull... i'll be visible.
Mom just apologized for her lack of a gag reflex not being genetic.
I have an explanation for how we got this drunk this fast... but you wont like it. We are officially in complete liver failure.
I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips
I'm all for hockey players but dude, he asked me to lick his chipped tooth mid-hook up.
I may, or may not have licked his face in an Applebee's.
Cool. Some 22 year old kids gave me a ride home from the bar last night. In related news, I made out with a 22yr old last night. He was adorable
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
Drunk Jeff aka Dreff thinks he's about 3x cooler than be really is and about 100x better at dancing than he really is
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
Just left the ER. Only good thing... my hot ass nurse Carlos stripped me.
God works in mysterious ways.
I'm the only person I know that carries solo cups, shot glasses, ping pong balls, two decks of cards, and a lawn chair in his trunk. I'm ready to turn anything, anywhere into a party.
Randomize