I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
He was sweet. He even warned me that his dick curved, and I quote, "more than a banana."
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
I don't think he realizes it but he was stroking the faucet while he was talking to me.
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
Just smoked out of an apple with Steve Jobs. I love Halloween.
I seriously think my heart may fail. And I didn't even grab a toilet beer :(
I don't think I even want to know why you are sending my husband pictures of your nutsack.
You got pulled on stage by a stripper who wore ruffled ankle socks and did jumping jacks for her dance. Then you were put in a chokehold by a security guard that almost cried because you supposedly said "fuck you!" to him.
I don't know, I think having hemorrhoids shows character. You have to be trying pretty hard to get them.
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
doing the walk of shame back to your house in nothing but a bed sheet was definitely not one of my proudest moments..
Of course, it's a law of friendship. "Thy friend Shalt always hold hatred for thine friend's swinish ex"
Straight up just cock blocked my dad. Also this apple sauce is good.
Randomize
