me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
I miss waking up, opening the closet downstairs, and finding you inside passed out.
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
I feel like my chances would have been better if I hadn't told her "I need to fuck you before you leave."
Ok. I am hammered I will admit it but my legacy needs to live and your the only woman that could spawn satan. We need to talk.
Just had a shirt made that says "I'm sorry" going to wear it every sat and sun morning for the foreseeable future
I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
Considering that your "hello" was replaced with "Fuck yo couch," I'm not surprised that you have a black eye.
I be dancing. See you soon. You can drink tequila from my pants.
I never thought people would keep their guns next to their fake plastic penises, but there they were.
he looked at me and said 'happiness is a warm blanket' then stole my vodka.
Seriously. All I want right now is a 40 with a nipple on it, and a nap
Had an orgasm and got a charley horse at the same time. It was a multi-purpose scream.
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
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