The best thing happened. Some guy was butchering Conway Twitty at karoke and the power went off in the whole bar. And someone shouted "you pissed jesus off when you messed with conway!"
this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
I picked her up for our first date on a fucking horse. Of course I got a BJ.
hey girl hope you're alright, you hit that tree really hard. have a good night.
Just found a wrench in the washing machine. Sooo not doing your laundry anymore.
If you're wearing dry underwear your day is already better than mine.
He brought her home and fucked her in a gingerbread man costume in a cardboard rapunzel castle. He had a pretty good night.
I'm supposed to be maturing, but no instead I'll be shitting my pants in Delaware for my 30th.
Hahahaha nah you won't shit your pants - but you will fully try mushrooms.
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
Maybe it's because I walked straight up to that shelf of vodka with a look of determination that said "I mean business".
I usually have to have a cart! If that doesn't say "I mean business" then I don't know what does
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
I think I hear the ice cream truck
I could be going crazy though
NO IT IS THE ICE CREAM TRUCK IT'S ALMOST AT YOUR STOP
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
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