This girl is more easily done than said...
Call me immediately, my only recent boy news involves me biting a dick.
i was considerably less excited after they told me my present didnt have a penis
i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
she gave me one of those friendship bracelets and said as long as I wore it it was like an all-access pass to her vagina
You screamed "she never feeds them anyway" and threw the fish tank off the 3rd floor balcony. Don't park on our side of the building.
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
I feel like an elephant shit on me and left me to be miserable
And my coffee table looks like something out of Scarface
Realizing life ain't all about burritos and strippers, it's a struggle out there, and it ain't looking pretty so far,..
Goddamnit, guys. I got lube all over my kindle.
I was mad at him...then I jerked off. Now I'm over it. Orgasms fix everything, I swear.
Fuck you bitch. You're married. You got a live-in dick at home for your needs. I still gotta surf this shitty town's bars for cock
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