hell yes lets make some ravioli
sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
for halloween i should be pregnant. what is scarier than that?!
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now
and after i failed the breathalyzer i said to the cop "i've never been very good at tests"....
It doesn't matter how many times you look in your purse, Your keys are not going to be there. Maybe you left them at the bar.
Maybe they fell out of my pocket last night when I rolled down the hill.
At 38 I had to open a Snapchat account to communicate with my 21 yr bf. where is my life going.
Turns out both me and my grandpa have a guilty pleasure for South American men.
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
Sometimes I feel like my vagina has a photographic memory of his penis. It sucks that he got engaged....
I love you, but seriously, that was way too long a thesis on an Arby’s curly fry being wrapped around schlong!
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