i dont know you, but i just did a line with your business card.
Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
i'm laying naked in your bed you should probably come home
move.
mom just told me i had to find a fake by next wednesday.
I incognito puked under the VIP table. Did Jersey proud.
Pretty sure I just shit out pure stomach acid. I'll explain after you take me to a hospital
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
some girl at the bar told me my beard would tickle every inch of her body till she joy puked her face off.... that was so random and odd i just had to buy her a drink for having the guts to say it to me. WTF
I can't wait to get home and brush the fuck outta my teeth.
Literally.
What happened to fro yo and sex?
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
He sang the chorus to “Inside of you” by Russel Brand in Forgetting Sarah Marshall as he proceeded to not pull out...
Honestly? I wouldn’t even be mad, that probably took talent
What time is our conjugal visit?
Umm...who is this?
Randomize
