Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
I love how you send me nude pics of girls you're fucking and name them by which city they're in instead of their name. "This is Nashville, this is Tupelo, this is Jackson..."
i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
Ended up passed out drunk in the neighbors lawn, still in costume. Neighbors thought I was a lawn decoration. Ten points for best Halloween ever.
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
drunk guy next to me on the train just tried to share his pizza with me
he just tried to feed it to me...i love new york
im sorry but you know it was a good night when you got tasered on the ass and didnt even feel it
im tired of her bring homeless men home when shes drunk. THEY ARE NOT FUCKING PETS!!!!
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
do you ever just look around and think about how great it is to have depth perception? Like it's really, really cool when u think about it
Our drunk hook up was interrupted by the delivery guy. When he came back to my room we ate the gyros and went back to sex like we didn't take a lunch break.
Never in my life have I seen a grown ass man get on all fours and attempt to buttfuck himself with the leg of a chair. I love Vegas!
Wanna buy a dildo with me during your lunch break tomorrow?
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