I'm drinking on the job... HEAVILY
Eating a girl out that was just in the ocean does not make her taste like saltwater taffy
Did you ever notice the eye of Sauron looks like Lindsay Lohan's vagina?
I was wrong being drunk doesn't make accounting more interesting
I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
Listen, you need to start thinking with your vagina and not with your heart... That emotional shit is for your 30s.
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
THINK! exactly how many raw eggs did you color and hide in my apt.
I just want to eat my penis shaped food in front of you and see how you feel about it.
The moment when you and your BFF compare frequently used emojis and realize you have similar mental disorders and a really weak alibi.
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
Couch. On fire.
I woke up with my shoes on but pants in the fish tank
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
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