I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
I just discovered cum stains from two different guys on my wall. I don't know whether to be proud or horrified.
Also, at 1:30 I emailed myself saying, "are you there Margaret? It's me, god"
I wish you could be here to assess my herpes before he gets here.
i have officially banned the recreational use of bayonets.
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
Well, I convinced myself I had a sixth toe and then I ripped it off. So I PRAY you're doing better than me.
anyone who texts me today gets a complimentary picture of my mangled foot. starting with you.
ewwwww wtf when you left last night you were fine?
if i don't get grease into my system pronto i will undoubtedly die
god dammit I AM NO LONGER PUTTING UP WITH YOUR HETEROSEXUALITY I QUIT
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
You kissed my hand and then put a Taco in it. Why WOUDNT I leave my husband?
Also, I'm not that drunk, but I'm thinking of pulling the blinds all the way up and casting some porn up onto the living room TV to establish dominance over our neighbors.
I really love you. Like, more than tequila...& we both know that's my favorite.
Randomize
