Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
No, seriously, 1.5 gallons of sangria plus two days of untapped cock. Waiting here. For you.
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
Lost my key. Fell asleep on the doorstep and got woken up by host grandma poking me with a broom.
I lost my keys but found four buffalo wings in my pockets
Didn't get the job. Searched for my references on FB and saw the pic of me weighing my head passed out.
I know it's not technically the "Mile High Club" but we def need a name for the airport bathroom. Cuz that just happened.
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
(540): I ran 10 miles and then took a dump behind a rock. What the fuck have you done with a hangover that's comparable?
WHEN DO I FOLLOW THESE PEOPLE. I WOKE UP THIS MORNING &FOUND TWEETS FROM ILLUMINATI AND "hot shot 6th grader"
In my dream, you became a famous tap-dancer. Congratulations.
And then he dove into my vagina like scrooge mcduck into a room of gold
I was gonna be Romantic and write your name in emoji eggplants but A's are hard
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
Randomize
