Everyone knows that the fastest route to a corporate advancement is to take a shot in the mouth
he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
Can you explain the plethora of sunflower seeds in the dryer?
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
There are some sad choices of men in the ER. That one was missing teeth. Not the place to find a husband.
Just had a threesome. Girlfriend wasn't a part of it. Broke up with her by sending her a picture of it. Hell is going to be awesome
He showed up at my door at 3 AM wearing a Santa hat with a tiara attached.
You know when you get a stripper pays your bail. You got good wood.
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
Also, in case they didn’t tell you… there is a chicken living in your old room… so I would assume cleaning that is now on them
Grandma said I got a good handjob. I think she meant manicure.
Randomize
