you went to subway and got pissed when they refused to deep fry your sub
I just threw up and a whole piece of spaghetti came out of my nose. I don't even remember eating spaghetti.
Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
She refused to give me a hand job while we were watching a war movie saying she didn't wanna disrespect the soldiers
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
We just shotgunned beers for America
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
There's some drunk girl alone in the field, she looks like she could use some help.
Also it's only fair that you know that that girl is me.
I keep having to have that awkward "I don't want to have sex with you" convo. I thought wearing sweatpants was suppose to prevent this situation..
He just subscribed to one of my Spotify playlists. The next step is sex.
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
I snuck out three pillows from the hotel i was rolling so hard. They are like little clouds. I regret nothing.
I don't give a shit if you judge. This isn't about you or anyone else. This is about me and my chicken tenders.
I can say with absolute certainty the only time we ever had a civil conversation was when we agreed we both liked pizza.
Don't ask but i need a priest, a calzone, a litre of gravy, and exactly 7 oreos
And a bag of nachos
Randomize
