Hey! Thanks for asking, but it didnt go well. He threw up in the car on the way to dinner. Blind dates arent for everyone.
so went to the condom shack today. bought a condom that dresses up your dick in a suit...tomorrow im fucking in style
Fuck. These are the symptoms I had when I was pregnant. This could be bad.
My mom just told me to make sure my face isn't on the front cover of the newspaper on 4/21. Challenge accepted
He is stood at the top of the stairs nursing the stolen cat
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
Dude. Stop sending me lines from Hungry Like the Wolf
Where are you? Your parents are here. Their flight got in early.
Trashy Tequila Tuesdays. Have them meet me here @ the bar.
I'm not sending your parents to see you drunk at a gay bar. What kind of boyfriend do you think I am?
A great one. Entertain them i'll be home soon....... I think
Everyone is out there getting real jobs and I just realized I've been "washing" my clothes with fabric softener for two months.
Another development in my life...I think I pulled a muscle in my neck from vomiting this weekend.
Hey. Im sorry to bother you but I just watched the seinfield episode about faking an orgasm and it caused me to second guess myself. Were you satisfied?
I'm worried about your health. And your boobs. Actually, health, then boobs. Health first, boobs second. And third.
What did you do with the dog when you went into the club?
coat checked
It's an interesting experience to pee while a bird meows at you.
You need to get out of the house more
He has the fingertips of a God
Randomize
