and you said cock pushups were impossible
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
The good news is that I can 100% reassure you that you did not get knocked up by some creepy Italian dude named Sal Manella last night.
The bad news is that you will never know the name of the guy who may have gotten you pregnant last night because he clearly gave you a fake name, sweetie.
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
What kind of outfit says I totes want you to take me in the airplane bathroom?
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
Best part of leaving the university? Interns are as hot as my former students, not legally off limits, and they will do anything for a full time job.
Let's try finding a bar where there aren't people who want to hang me from a tree by my nutsack
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
Typically a man doesn't buy a woman a drink in hopes of her laughing at his penis, but no one said I was normal.
You can’t homewreck what the Lord hath brought together.
Remember when I was real fucked up and said I would give up utensils and only use chopsticks for lent?...just got the reminder on my phone.
Randomize
