Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
All I've consumed over the last couple days is Vanilla Coke, semen, and Coors. I don't think today will be any different.
Im only pretending to be his friend so I can sleep with his girlfriend.
She kept looking at me and saying "you are the scary high".
i knew it was time to leave the bar when i caught myself doing karate dance moves with a married man.
yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
There's s woman at the corner of the bar dancing by herself in her seat and making eye contact with me. Please hurry.
The worst part about being a grammar Nazi is all the porn I skip over because the titles are misspelled
Just threw up in the trash can at my desk. I guess "beating the hangover" eventually leads to this.
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???
Turns out I tore my ACL when I fell off the mechanical bull.. Happy bday to me
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
Randomize