I just don't want to have to pretend at every family function she brings him to that he didn't hit on me first
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that.
She told me she's into girls now. I told her there would be a full bottle of jäger and an empty bed here Friday.
Direct quote from her that tipped me off I was getting some: "I want to jump on his shoulders and wrap my legs around his face"
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
I can control the tv with my phone while pooping on the second floor. I thought you should know for future reference
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
Just used an eyelash curler to open my beer since I didn't have a bottle opener. Things are starting to look up.
How exactly does a handjob become fancy?
Blueberry lube, and champagne.
Pretty good. Thinking about getting day drunk and filling out job applications so I don't hate myself as much
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
Beer. Pizza. Seething Rage. I will be full of two of these things tonight. You get to decide which two.
i don't want him to see me in a bathing suit.
hasn't he seen you naked?
well yeah, but it's different in a bathing suit.
So I just accidentally joined a bar crawl and got a free shotski of Jameson. I love life.
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