He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
plans for tonight: dress up like pirates, drink a bottle of mad dog and watch the sorostitues across the street get naked. and yes, the mad dog part is already in play. hurry the fuck up. i look like a loser doing this alone.
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
Just had to explain to the nurse WHERE I have poison ivy. Great Day
I'm drinking a margarita out of my 'best bj' trophy and it tastes like victory.
there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
he definitely had sex before you were fully potty trained.
she says she's going to shake me awake in 15min intervals if I pass out
this was your mom?
Unlike bears, this weekend is not the #1 threat to America. It is, however, the #1 threat to my liver
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
My 7 yo sister is trying to talk my mom into buying her a strawberry margarita. Happy Cinco de Mayo.
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
Drunk is a universal language darling
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