Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
just woke up in my neighbors garage.
scratch that. I'm like 6 miles from my house in a random garage.
my roomates packed me a lunch. it had bread, cheesewiz, a can of refried beans and a condom with a note that said "good luck on your first day". im not even gonna pretend to be mad.
there's another hole in my ceiling...someone fell through the attic this time....
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
Bjs on a first date are the gateway to getting to know someone for who they really are.
he was too drunk to climb up my loft. i owe my beating teen pregnancy to four pieces of steel
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
Ever wonder what all the drugs you've ever done would look like put together?
Heaven. . It would look like heaven
It's 1am and I'm on LSD and I have diarrhea in a Dunkin Donuts. Help me
that's what I'm here for. I'm literally just bad advice mixed with motivational sentences.
Fursuit judi Dench just stared directly at me for 3 solid minutes telling me that cats arent dogs and i believe her because if i dont cat jason derulo might try to have sex with me
Randomize
