My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
Knee deep in strippers, everything is comped. will try hard to be there at 8. i promise.
Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
21st Birthday Idea: liquor store gift registry. Give me a promotion.
this is random but who was banging in the shower in our condo?
Dont tell her I prefer to have an aura of mystique surronding me and my penis.
also i think i should join the bone marrow registration when im sober
Suffice to say, I think if people ask about your bruises, and you look them right in the eye, and say "they're from fucking...", people would be like, "respect."
we're at the bar celebrating my ex bootycall getting his new gf pregnant... and me narrowly escaping a future as kitty foreman
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
You told him he “could park his dick in your garage”.
Well he didn’t. It shouldn’t be this hard to get a penis.
Randomize
