he clicked a button a stirrups came down from the ceiling... if I don't come home by sunday, report me.
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
He told me that he wishes our relationship was more like prison: less touching, more butt sex.
I found a map from his room to his bathroom this morning in my purse. Apparently I was too fucked up to get there without one.
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
Passed out on her toilet. Dog licked my face to wake me. Awkward talk with her boyfriend, who hadn't been home last night. Not sure exactly what town I'm in, but I'm south. Will call for ride when I figure it out.
I'm surprised I haven't crapped out a leprechaun, I'm so hungover
Why do I always miss the parties you're naked at?!
I get naked cuz your not there
all my mom knows is what I put on facebook. So... I mean... She knows we drink a lot.
My fuck buddy is great and all, but it gets weird when she gets in arguments with her BF in the driveway
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
I just wanna get high and take a fucking awesome nap. Those are my goals for the week.
Giant stained glass jesus is judging my black pleather pants
I keep worrying the police are going to come looking for us.
For which one? Starting a fire on my porch or having sex on my porch?
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
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