A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
she kept yelling 'call me bella'
Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
when i came out to my mom, it was over brunch. i was eating a banana. not exactly my smartest breakfast choice.
You don't have a penis so I'm not texting you at this hour. This is penis texting hour only.
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
found a better reason to procrastinate than the usual sunday-don't-give-no-fucks. literally every one of my textbooks is soaked in captain. can't turn a page without gagging.
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
Moral of the story: next time my plans include you and bourbon, I'm packing a toothbrush.
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
She was trying to be sexy well putting on my condom with her mouth when her cat pounced from the corner of the room witch caused her to gasp and inhale the condom
Omg the sex was so good my ears popped. Thank god too. Cause then I didn't have to hear him going on and on about his dumbass feelings. It's called a booty call bitch.
Randomize
