Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
dude, the building's fire alarm was going off for over an hour last night and you didn't move
that's ok, when I'm passed out drunk I'm impervious to flame
I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
couldn't find my pants so i stole a pair of shorts from the passed out kid in the corner.
I woke up naked dangling by my feet from the balcony over his foyer. He's officially my new favorite booty call.
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
I'm pretty sure that if I didn't have a gerbil with a shotgun in my uterus I would think i was knocked up cuz all I want is hot sauce
Oh and apparently Friday night I came home and tried assembling the Christmas tree until my mom just told me to go to bed. Blackout.
I think Facebook knows you fucked me. All of a sudden I get everything you do in my news feed.
This is the I'm sorry text for running around yelling don't shit on my rainbow, end up in the fetal position crying at 4 am in my car because someone shit on my rainbow
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
I love the smell of your bedroom. It smells of a mixture of cherries, leather, and unrequited homosexual desire.
Smoking weed with a blind guy, don't worry he's chill.
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