I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
At the bar. Guy comes up wearing a hollister shirt and says "lets blow this popsicle stand"
You fucking left with him didn't you?!
you passed out when you kept trying to hold your breath during the underwater scenes of 2012
just found my calculator watch from 6th grade. the hipster transformation is complete
Isn't the perk of being in a relationship not having to put in effort for sex?
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
Just a heads up, the coffee pot is filled with Jager.
i think he just broke into a bike shop his last text said something about hiding in some tree
He tried eating fireworks, to stop him being hungover in the morning. Where do you keep finding these people?!
STOP WHATEVER YOU ARE DOING AND GO OUTSIDE RIGHT NOW. THE MOON LOOKS LIKE CATWOMAN
Also this is super embarrassing but sorry for licking your chest
Remind me to tell you all about the topless girl on the street who attempted to taze me.
Listen, all I’m saying is, if you’re lying naked next to a hot chick, you don’t start discussing dental hygiene.
Ok, as his sister I didn't tell you this but he's very familiar with pregnancy symptoms. So next time he calls you fat freak him the hell out by asking if your ankles look swollen.
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