so whenever I text yeah my phone automatically corrects it to yeahhhheeehhyeahyeahh .. too much party in the USA?
my drunk uncle just explained that turkeys are not gentle lovers... and no context doesn't make it better.
Last night you tried to pee on my bed...in the hallway...your room...and the showers. When I finally got you on the toilet you passed out.
He made fire alarm noises before throwing up all over the street.
at roughly 3:30am you called me saying you were gonna start a big game of strip twister in politics class and i was your partner.
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
He said I was trying to make the bouncer dance with me AS he was throwing me out
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
Between my vibrator and my iPhone carpal tunnel is inevitable.
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
Come get your sister, she's waving a shoe about and threatened to "teabag the Shit" out of the doorman because she can't check the shoe in.
How about to stay friends we only have sex on our birthdays. Maybe national holidays too. And days we get really drunk. Wanna get really drunk?
I just bought six bottles of the 2 dollar vodka. oh yes there will be blood
Randomize
