my mom noticed the "toothpaste" stain on my tshirt...she repeatedly attempted to get it off by licking her thumb and rubbing it. See Jenn it obviously doesnt taste that bad...
Changing from sweatpants to jeans at 3 in the afternoon makes the day seem so much more productive than it actually was.
He only talks to me during the summer and it's probably because I let him fuck me in my pool last year.
I know your texting costs money, but I'll pay for it if you consider this. Oversized frozen jello shots. I'll buy everything needed if you approve. Let me know
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
I rolled over and my thoughts became words and I said "oh fuck not you again" he didn't think that was too kind and asked me to leave
Didn't want you to think it had been open season on my vagina since we broke up.
I sent dad a photo of my graduation certificate from drug therapy class. It was his birthday so it seemed appropriate.
I need a drink and a shade of lipstick that will put the fear of God in a man's heart.
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
it'll be like a game of Russian Roulette, but with my vagina.
Seriously where are the good guys?
The friend zone.
It's become almost a Pavlovian response. The sound of the vacuum being run by hubby causes an instantaneous involuntary orgasm.
I am mentally ready for anal.
I'll be an awkward "I've had the grooms penis in my mouth" presence and we can party our nipples off.
Randomize
