Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
Take one last look at my face, because I'm drinking it off tonight.
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
Sometimes I seriously wonder if I could get away with vodka Sundays at work. Cuz this red bull feels naked.
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
Just got a picture message from my sister of the two of us wearing cowboy hats and pressing our bare asses together. Do you remember enough to explain?
I just put on eyeliner and a diff shirt in case the pizza guy is cute. This is what my dating life has come to
she said i was like a little lamb and she felt bad for luring me into her den of sin. then she blew me.
Being a virgin isn't supposed to be this easy for you.
He was pretty bad, I wanted pizza the whole time.
So is the trick to long distance communication to be drunk during phone conversations?
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
His dog ate the vibrator. The WHOLE vibrator. We spend the morning after trying to make it vomit up the battery. Why does this always happen to me?
Setting myself up for trouble? Yes. But getting laid is a lot more important at this time.
Randomize
