What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
I'm not gonna lie. having my legs shaved for me in the morning was a lovely surprise.
It's like my butt was the only innocence I had left and now I don't even have that.
I have vomit stuck in my nose, you should come with a warning label.
Yeah I remember I tried to close her head in the freezer last night
I am currently watching him baptize himself in a baby pool with a handle of belvedere while wearing a coral dress.
I want to have sex with him.
He bought segways. We ride them when we get drunk. Last night he ran through the sliding glass door.
Your boyfriend and I are bonding over your giant dick.
I think you handled your pregnancy scares better than that cricket in your bathroom
How's everyone else's ass tattoo today?
Dick very happy bro
Need ride home. Girls. Stolen keg. Rolling down streets. Horny girls. No condoms. Rescue needed. girls and beer in exchange for rescue and bacon?
I. Hate. You. Where are you, are said girls cute, and how did you know I bought bacon? And how does this always happen to you?
Smarter than the average bear
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
I can't really text bc it's too expensive but I thought youd like to know I just shit myself in a gift shop.
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