Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
Yet again my drunken self has managed to find his way into the middle of nowhere with no shoes or recollection of what happened last night.
Then I guess you don't remember me driving you there after you tried making out with my girlfriend, dipshit.
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
yes i am an adult who snuck out of my parents house to cuddle with a guy and then came home and listened to taylor swift. judge me all you want.
Last time he went to Europe, every time he started drinking he would wake up in a different country with no memory. There is no way he can be tour leader.
DON'T WEAR PANTS.
I REPEAT.
DO. NOT. WEAR. TROUSERS.
I put ketchup in a girls hair last night. I need a sorry balloon
If it's any consolation, I made really strong brownies yesterday and had 3 and then I saw demons
Why can't they just let me be the gorgeous cum dumpster that I know I'm meant to be?
Slammed 3 beers and just bowled a 129\nI guess alcohol IS the answer
the only decorations on the Christmas tree were twinkle lights, condoms, and empty natty cans. I do love a classy holiday party
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
Randomize
