I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
So im going to watch Hocus Pocus in my footie pajamas... How am I in college?
so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
Tonight is one of those "I'm wearing a shirt as a dress" nights because I need to get laid.
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
Sorry for making you give strangers a ride for hits of acid.
when you come home i just want to let you know we are cats now. and we are out of eggs.
...You tried to use your wallet to call her after you gave your cell phone to the cab driver as a "peace offering"
I still owe him the card with all the sperm paper cutouts falling out like glitter saying " sorry you can't hold your load. Better luck next time "
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
well some coke just fell out of my nose in my partners meeting so i'd say my day's off to a fantastic start
thankfully we both ride of shamed home together on razor scooters in dresses because we stopped for breakfast sandwiches too
I danced with a french guy who licked the sweat off my neck and poured a drink on me. Not gonna lie, that shit was refreshing
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU
MANY MANY THINGS AND MOST OF THEM ARE YOUR FUCKING FAULT
Randomize