I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
you were stealing lawn gnomes and punching cars. I'm not surprised you got arrested.
Dude I was fucking my girl on the couch and her dog came up and licked my balls. Does that mean we just had a threesome?
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
Try and take me seriously and don't look directly at my hair or the jizz on my pants.
Ummm didn't i have pubes when i went to bed last night?
We just had an accidental Facebook titty pic scare.
bring the pregnancy test and the margarita mix, see you in 15
Well just give me the address, I'll bring the bourbon. If they let that into mental institutions
I put on a tiger onsie to initiate sex... It worked
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
Mike Pence got the fuck boy eyes though
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
the girl who hid my weed when the cops came has a birthday coming up. i feel like i should get her something.
Randomize
