ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
I'm sending you this that that when you wake up and see the girl sleeping next to you, you know who to thank
note to self... there IS such a thing as having too many birthday shots...
you called her butter tits and then threw up in your cup. i dont know if theres any way to come back from that
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
I am too young to be this hungover
Is this your way of saying you want a sober 19th?
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
I'm sorry. I just realized our 'big night out' ended up being you driving my high ass to get burritos and back.
Four times in one night? That Energizer bunny outfit lived up to the hype.
Okay let's look at your past accomplishments you've done hungover... Sat great score, academic decathlon, state for track. I think you are solid to go out tonight
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
I just got St Patricks day and the day after St Patricks day off, wich I'm pretty sure is as close to a raise as I'll ever get.
I just went on etsy and my personalized suggestions on the page were either kinky sex restraints or baby things. I feel like etsy just summarized my life.
I apparently asked the bartender for a plastic bag and told her I was gunna puke then grabbed two handles from the bar then put the handles in the plastic bag and left.....
Just stopped at a cross walk because the light turned red 3 streets down. I'm way too high.
Randomize
