roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away.
Ugh I just know that when I take off his pants his underwear will have Megan's Law written all over them.
Update: no underwear. Greeeeen light.
If someone cant be won over with guacomole and tequila they are not worth your time.
Hooked up with my first aid and cpr teacher last night. She dressed as a lifeguard and brought me back to life. Beat that.
All i remember before i blacked out is you pointing to a random chick and telling me to bang her for America.
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
i think i had to give the cab driver my id to get home last night because i couldnt talk.
He made me hold his dick and say "I solemnly swear that I'm up to no good"
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
MAYDAY. glass in foot, have crush on guy with mullet.life is over.
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
Fun fact. I am at the police dept. getting served a warrant for unpaid ordinance... and the officer was a one night stand from like 10 years ago.
Also, nothing screams "don't talk to me because I'm unstable" like walking around eating cookie dough out of the package.
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
All I can remember from last night was eating nutella and touching myself to Weird Science.
Randomize
