i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
your ex dropped by. you can call me dwight howard, cuz im the king of rebounds
please keep texting me so i can pretend someone likes me
i just wanna lock my vagina in a safe filled with bandaids and healthy things
And then I learned that we are dating when I said it's out of line to bring fuck buddies home to meet the parents. And then I was single.
There are 18k people at the game and I'm next to the one guy who pulls his underwear down to his ankles to piss.
We found him wrapped up in a giant table umbrella in the bathroom.
I had phone sex with a retiree last night. This is not how I envisioned my 20s going...
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
I'M SO LONELY THAT I TEXTED THE FRESHMAN
Package arrived for me from the gf while she's on vacation..under the bed bondage kit and new lingerie...my boner could drive to the airport
you ran up to the police and said "fuck the police shit we living in hell ". Then you dropped your Margarita and said "Darby Out" lol
He offered to take me to my appointment after breakfast then kind of just sat there and watched me get a papsmier. Most awkward first date ever.
Tis the season to play Pocahontas! (AKA: Eat a bunch of acid and run around the yard barefoot, the first person to see the colors of the wind, wins!)
I just watched a magician wearing a fedora deep throat a balloon\n
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