whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
i think i just was awoken by the sound of my roommate choking on her boyfriend's dick
All my problems are solved. I just got McDonalds and scratch off lottery tickets.
that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
he just kept repeating that I have nice areolas
He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
So is there some kind of punch card you and I get to use every time we fuck a chick with a cast?
Fun fact: I don't want to be an actual functioning adult because why
I might have beaten my fastest all time record going from "I really really like this girl" to "fuck that bitch"
Did you really get up in the middle of a tattoo to go get Taco Bell?
I'm coming right back.
In other news, people don't judge you when you buy a vibrator if you buy a funny birthday card and bag with it. I learned that this weekend.
After we had sex he told me it was a "goodbye gift". We haven't talked since.
I said his dick tasted like a Hawaiian Sweet Roll. And then I yelled MAHALO.
I have a bandage in my ass crack. In. My. Ass. Crack.
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
Randomize
