are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
He was streaking. We were hammered. We had roman candles. It only made sense to shoot them at him.
I found him in the livingroom trying to soak up broken glass with the clock from the kitchen.
THERE IS PRACTICALLY A BEER FUCKING WATERFALL
Just signed my boyfriend up on a dating website so I could officially have a reason to leave him for my hot neighbor.
I'm about to do the walk of shame in a christmas onesie. What would I do without christmas sweater party season?
I may be in the process of acquiring a second male fuck buddy and dating a girl....FUCKING STOP THE TRAIN I'M ON! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!!
How am I feeling this morning? Well, besides the fact that my vagina looks like a pair of giraffe's lips and I'm walking like an over-confident cowgirl, I'm fantastic. Thanks for your concern.
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
If you don't let me come over I'm gonna call you on speaker and you have to listen to her scream and moan too
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
I've counted 3,503 loops of fabric on my carpet so far. FUCK YOU ACID!!!
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
Its official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world
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