So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
Even the bartender felt bad for me
They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
I don't care how sexy you think I look in my scrubs. Wanting a blow job is not a medical emergency.
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
Adding to the list of things I have said out loud at the bar that I shouldn't have: "I am the yoda of sucking dick"
Being single is awesome because I can still drink a bottle of wine and hate myself, but I don't have to shave my legs!
I'm recreating the you're a wizard harry video with a guy on snapchat whilst having snapchat sex with another... Adulting is fun
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
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