I found the seven page love letter I had written you. I'm sorry i was so obsessed.
Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
she said 'i love fried rice', threw a condom at me and passed out naked.
like when he blacked out and we found him in the garden eating your tomatoes off the vine
I fake pass out to avoid hookups sometimes. Last night I fake slept on my bathroom floor for like 2 hours before the guy left.
I'd bet your vomit would be flammable at this point. Can I try to light it?
We wouldn't be friends if you didn't.
If you are wondering why there is half eaten pizza in your pocket it's because you were passed out with it in your hand in my bathtub. Today's your b-day and thought I'd give you a good idea about what happened last night as a present
I just watched the lion king for the first time in years. It's like the equivalent of a really good blow job.
He came home all fucked up crying slammed his bedroom door and all we could hear for about three hours was THIS ISN'T GONA RUIN MYLIFe what happend
I told him I got this chick pregnant and he has to get a new wingman
I really like your cover photo on fb that looks cool
In case birth mom friends me back, thought I should make it less drunk looking.
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.
I'm floating on a rainbow and a purple elf is giving me advice. COME NOW!!!
Im glad your laughing because im currently convincing my penis you didnt mean it and its all gunna be ok.
Probably some sort of karmic revenge for me looking at titties somewhere along the way
and for that you shall suffer
God: I won't strike you down, but I shall introduce your child to Doja Cat during a quarantine
Randomize
