Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
I just saw the preacher from the church I grew up in while I was buying condoms at the drugstore... he remembered me.
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
His sombrero wouldn't fit in the car and I had to buy him some Jack to make him stop bitching. You owe me
Girl your like that last load of laundry... I'll do you eventually just not tonight.
I'm amazed your boyfriend is still with you, how do you manage to pee on him while he is holding you in his lap?
You kept whispering "Party Dave" every time someone would start talking.
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
we were at work and Infront of the whole bar you yelled. "JAKE I WANNA GET FUCKED TONIGHT!" Us day drinking > everyone else
I just got carded by a ten year old.
Shouting "one vagina to rule them all" was probably not the best way to meet our best mates fiance
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
You're emotionally mature, right? I said you were.
I have at least four things in my line of sight that have Kermit the Frog on them in my dorm. Does that answer your question?
The fuck kind of sorcerer makes a pact with tequila
Most of the people I know from AA
Haha touché
Randomize
