Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
I had a dream that I had 21 friend requests. it was the best day
My dad just came home, said hi to mom and me in the kitchen, and then said "I'm gonna go inject my blood with iguana saliva".
im vomiting on the 4th floor cause no one knows me there
not only did i soak my thesis by spilling celebratory shots on it, but i also stained it with lipstick making it obvious i tried to drink the vodka off it......dgaf, worth it.
An hour ago, you were stranded out of state, and now you're getting laid? You are a god. Whatever you do, don't ask her name.
The bartender was shocked when I took the mop bucket from him and told him I'd take care of my friends puke.
I may be in the process of acquiring a second male fuck buddy and dating a girl....FUCKING STOP THE TRAIN I'M ON! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!!
My vday gift was a joint bouquet, Finding Nemo on bluray, and a good shower fuck.
Um, WHAT A FUCKING KEEPER!
I had a dream that I had to take a breathalyzer but then it turned out to be a bong....why can't that be real life?
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
I think all the guys I've fucked in my life would get along perfectly. They'd probably form an orchestra and travel the fucking world. That gives me the slightest feeling of consistency in life which is great.
Woke up from a black out in a strangers Jeep without phone, shoes, or wallet.
You fell while talking to a cop, then proceeded to acuse him of tripping you... he was arresting you for public intox.
No offense, but I don’t think I would want to see him in anything skimpier than a hazmat suit.
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