hungover + watching bobsledding = i just puked
You guessed 7 of 8 bra sizes correctly. You're like a drunk rainman.
I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
Toga everclear = hospital visit... Im sure the paramedics hate me right now
I woke up and blew hamburger out my nose. That kinda night.
my stepmom is let-the-dog-eat-out-of-her-mouth drunk. oh my god.
All I wanted was a "this is what America feels like" blowjob before I left. Is that too much to ask for?
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
Just had a flashback to Friday. Definitely had my hands in someone's bra. Definitely wasn't mine.
He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys.
If I don't get to have sex with him soon my entire female reproductive system is gonna climb out of my body and choke me to death
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
I puked on her cat, I think I should at least buy her breakfast
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
Randomize
