She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
gonna sleep on the stairs... to drunk to keep going up, way to drunk to go down, gonna find a comfy spot right here... its safer that way
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
I just ate a bag of doritos while taking a shower. I can now officially do anything
I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
Then I hope you find a set of extremely intelligent, flexible triplets in the ethnicity of your choice.
That is the nicest thing anyone has ever wished for me
Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
You got Broadway Drunk, dude. I haven't heard you sing "Music Of The Night" like that since the last time I was holding you up on the way to the subway at two in the morning.
How the fuck did we end up at a strip club last night.. We started the night playing bingo at a church
He is a sweet angel sent from dick heaven!
I literally just woke up in a dog bed, in a bathtub in someone else's house...and I'm not wearing pants
dollar rum and cokes, see you on the dark side of infinity
She used a candle as a shot glass.. A FUCKING CANDLE BRO!!
Yo i still have 5 hrs left of work. I should not be this drunk
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
Randomize
