Was it a mistake telling him I couldn't get the abortion until I was 2 months along on the first date?
Or they can chase TEQUILA shots with it. I don't know why my phone capitalizes TEQUILA.
karaoke mosh pit has descended into fisticuffs, send backup
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
My mascara kind of smells like tequila to me...Is this my body crying for help or asking for a shot?
My ex was there, the 2 girls I'm seeing showed up and I had a pocket full of VIP passes 2 the strip club. Had all the makings of an epic night but I fell asleep at the bar.
Mom chose Thanksgiving to tell me the reason I am here is because she was too tired to give my dad a BJ and too drunk to make him pull out.
Youre not supposed to get arrested if your parents fly you home for christmas!
True but this has the bonus of them maybe not wanting to fly me home next year, im good with that didnt wanna go in the first place.
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
We're the worst. Two people without their shit together do not make a functional adult.
Why can't he just dump me? This is like a baby seal clubbing the hunter
So I sniffed too hard this morning before work and I THINK THE COCAINE JUST STARTED ROUND 2.
When you start lapping your martini like a cat it's time to go home. Partys over.
I visited the library for the first time in my college career tonight and I got laid. I think I'm gonna come back...
Randomize
