i havee beer in my backseat and a glow in the dark condom in my cleaveage.
you're going for the gold here.
I enjoy that i have a whole shelf of clothes that I've accumulated from random sex. You know the ones you get to make the morning after look less awkward like similar to an athletes trophy shelf
I bought a Christmas tree in my drunken state last night, after walking a half mile in search of vino and prior to my apparently playing boardgames with my boyfriend's family. There is no way you are on my level.
He was carrying a rolled up carpet saying he was saving it for tomorrow's Walk of Fame.
Is buying her a loofah for my house commitment like? I don't wanna give the wrong idea
I have a friend that keeps saying he wants to go bear hunting. Thought I would say just walk down church street at night. What intersection is it?
My walk of shame this morning would have been much less obvious if it hadn't been 6:30 in the morning and I wasn't walking through downtown Nashville in a Steeler jersey.
We are not in a rock band. We can't continue living like this.
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
the gnome is staring at me and the pineapple is wearing shorts. I don't want to do this anymore.
remember when we said that thing when we met about how we were each glad we weren’t furries
ok listen,
Its safe now. But... Nobody should sleep on my bed tonight.
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
My boobs are too perky to pay that much for a car
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