But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
Shiiiit I think I'm getting sick. probably had something to do with the fact that i shared my mouth with everyone last night.
Wait. That came out far sluttier than I intended.
He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
she was giving me head and that cheryl crow 'youre favorite mistake' song came on. she looks up and all i could do was nod
you called her butter tits and then threw up in your cup. i dont know if theres any way to come back from that
She's running around bumping into to people trying to keep a balloon she filled with vodka in the air. Please tell me she has a secret off switch you didn't tell me about.
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
I let a blind guy feel me up. All he kept saying was "oh fuck yeah!"
I made out with a guy because he ate a grape lollipop and he tasted delicious... not my proudest moment.
We had a One Night Stand 6 months ago but he just Facebook invited me to his wedding. Who the fuck does that.
Nothing warms my heart more than the sight of a naked hockey player in my bed.
I just stood beside an Amish man and bought Cocoa Krispies and tampons.
I was left to my own devices with nothing to do but drink
He showed up at my house drunk with a pizza and said he wanted to lazily finger me while I watched supernatural. Who was I to say no?
Randomize
