even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
I've never seen anyone write a check for a bar tab before
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
He snuck out of bed at 9 am and came back with pizza and a bottle of wine. I think I'm in love!
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
We drove around last night shotting fireworks out the window while they had sex in the back of his car
I flashed a party boat full of Asians yesterday, didn't I?
I want what they have, but in the meantime I have a whole bottle of rum to which I'm quite devoted
Dave, I love you but you're barking up the wrong lesbian. You sir are the competition. You don't threesome with competition.
Sorry about coming to the pool in only a thong. I thought you said it was closed. Not that you were teaching a group of kids how to swim.
Im part way to drunk.
I lick assholes and I wouldn't eat mdma
Jus had a dream that I borrowed bob dylans car to save us from a pack of raptors. Pretty stoked about it.
Randomize