I'm at subway, this 8 year old kid is judging my fashion sense with his dad. I want to kill myself.
It's ok, he's just 8, he's not judging you.
He just asked why I'm sitting alone. I honestly want to cry.
it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
Kegstand on crutches, you need to get on my level.
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
You know where a good place to spend summer is? In your head. High as shit. It doesn't matter where you are.
I thought i lost my bra, but when i went back to help clean it was hanging up on the wall
I won the booty shaking contest by mooning the whole bar
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
i woke up with fake boobs glued on my chest and a large black dildo on my hand. then i had to dress myself and walk home. people saw.
Let's play "Guess What I Just Found In My Vagina?"
Ok: all ex-gfs except you from the last 5 years have or are about to have a baby...be on the lookout...
wow bdsm is so cute
u would mumble something and then get unnecessarily loud and say random shit like 'id fuck the shit out of taylor hanson right now'
We went to the midnight donut shop and you hopped the counter and told everyone to "Get the Fuck out of your Bar" but to also "Make yourselves at home".
He ate me out while I was wearing a canada goose parka and a dress hand crafted by a seamstress from yellowknife. I came while watching the northern lights. Most arctic orgasm ever.
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